Funny Embarrassing Day
I love eating some food to sit well with me. Milk, Sukuma, and Green Gram give me tummy problems. But since I love eating, I will consume these foods when I know all be indoors next to my tummy medication. I cannot tell what I had consumed the day before but early morning hours I did not experience any issues. Everything was easy and I was to run an errand in town on that particular day. I even made sure I went to the washroom just for security reasons before I hit the shower.
I felt fresh took my fare and left for town. Walking to the stage to board the Matatu was easy and the day was just perfect. I boarded the bus and we started heading to town. Sadly, along Jogoo Road there was mad traffic so the journey to a long time. When we were approaching Nairobi Central Business District that’s when hell started. All of a sudden my stomach just got bad. It was rumbling all the time and started blotting. The only positive thing is the bus was playing loud music so nobody could hear the rumbles.
After too many rumbling my tummy was filled with gas that wanted to escape. I was struggling to keep it in because I knew I would make people uncomfortable on the bus. I started sweating as I was struggling to keep the excess gas from coming out and was now feeling like diarrhea. It was a long journey and I was just looking and seeing how other people were relaxed on their sit enjoying the music and I was struggling here on my own. Surely this life you are on your own.
When we reached town I had to wait for others to alight first and I was the last person out of the bus. Even stepping out was a problem because things were about to come out. I was not even able to walk comfortably as things were heated up. I started a thing where could I get a good toilet fast. Where my sister was working was better but sadly it was a distance from where I was. I could not make it there safely. The other place was going to city council toilets but I feared their hygiene. They do not look clean to me and I did not know if I could get a toilet paper there. Secondly, I did not know if they had water to flush, I could not risk that. They would have asked to wash if I messed up there. Then I remembered there was this building where I used to go to print documents and use cybercafé for school projects. That building was new and on the first floor of that building there was a sign reading “Toilet at Ksh 10”.
This was more decent than going to city council toilets and it was close to where I had alighted. So I started making my way to this place. The journey to that building was not easy. In fact, it is the hardest, slowest have ever made in Nairobi Central Business District. When I arrive in town I usually rush to where am heading to. When you walk slowly some people just think you are lost or don’t know where you are heading. That’s how you get robbed in town. I was walking slowly than usual and when I felt things were about to bust I stopped and held on to life. I was sweating profusely along that road. If I was at the airport terminal they could have suspected me of carrying drugs or up to no good.
When I made it to that building, I followed the signs and found a gentleman there collecting money for using the toilet. I gave him Ksh 20 for the toilet paper and to use the toilet. I had survived the struggle and was somehow relieved. This is until when i went into the place where the washroom where and found that all three toilets were occupied and another gentleman was standing there waiting for his turn. I knew I was going to shit on myself. I could not wait for them to finish.
In frustration I knew I had to save myself so I started talking loudly. I was saying “ I don’t understand why someone is taking his time in a public toilet, just finish and leave we are tired of waiting”. Remember I had just entered the toilet and had not stayed there for even three minutes. I kept repeating the same words while talking loudly. The gentleman who was waiting there was just laughing. I knew if I did that someone would leave and suddenly I had a flushing sound.
I approached the gentleman who was there before me and I asked him to let me go in first. I know he realized I was desperate and he might have felt pity on me cause he let me enter first. I went in fast when the person who was using the toilet left. The noise that came out of that toilet did not embrace me at all. It would have been humiliating for a grown man to shit on himself. I was at peace and my body was cooling off now. I just sat on that toilet seat for at least 5 minutes in relief.
I wondered how many people were now standing outside waiting to use the washroom. Did they hear how loud I unleashed on this toilet? Now that when fear of finding people there waiting to see who was that talking done on me. When I flushed that toilet, pulled my pants up, and opened the door there was nobody outside. I washed my hands and wiped the oil on my face and left very fast. When you are desperate there is nothing you cannot do.
Now I was relieved and free and I could walk very fast as usual. I walked very fast to where my sister was working. The plan was if were to come back again I want to be somewhere where the toilet is easily accessible. The crazy thing is when I felt that toilet I did not remember the face of the gentleman who let me use it first. That means he also cannot remember my face, all he has is the story and experience.
Sadly I did not learn from my mistake almost the same incident happened to me again. This is a story for another day. Comment if you want to know how that one went.